Trust

So, I'm holding my breath until W leaves. It's been since Thanksgiving that we've had a break.

When he came back that time, and said he really didn't want to think about going back to DC again, I accomodated and made it feel like this is the way it is.

But by now, I'm fried. My new job, which will be good when it settles in, and my medical stuff, which could be much worse, and Billy Joel, are all weighing very heavy on my mind.

But I can't express to SJ how much I need the respite, because I can't trust him not to make it Will's problem. That lack of trust is critical. There are so many things I don't say. Probably I need to get help again to learn how to make that communication work. Next step. Makes me feel better to write this out.

And to participate in a film which outlines all his dark fantasies isn't easy. I'm glad I told him that.

Hall

Some folks at Hall haven't changed much.

29 or so were invited, we heard from 3 or 4 that they couldn't make it. Left both phone number and email address for RSVP. We assumed 25 or so would come.

Nine count 'em NINE people showed up besides me and Mary. It was very nice, but disappointing.

Good food, enjoyed those who did come, Mary made it easy. But I know she was disappointed.

On Saturday, I received 10 skeins of Noro from AM! Can't decide what I'll do with it, so I went on and cast on the Hanami stole. I'm halfway through the second repeat of the basket weave. Beaded cast on was a pain, but pretty.

I've been listening to Lisa Scottilini's Lady Killer - Next will be the next Eliz. Peters

Work tomorrow! Yikes!